Not a good day...

Today is not a good day. It marks 1 year since my dad passed away. He was 55. That's pretty young, especially considering the advancements in medicine lately. Unfortunately, the various familial ailments were too much. In fact, his own father died at 49 or 50 (consequently, I never met him).
I'd never had any person close to me die before that. The closest thing was my dog, Remy, in 2003. Actually, August 7th, 2003. I don't know why, but I had an odd feeling at that time that it was meant to prepare me for something. But you know, nothing ever really prepares you. My dad had a triple bypass in 2001, then his kidneys failed (from being diabetic) and he had to go on dialysis. That, along with the multiple trips to the doctor or hospital, made him sick and tired of being sick and tired.
In an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy's mom died suddenly from a clot in her brain, the episode, which I saw prior to this happening, I felt was very good at capturing what it was like to have someone die. Little did I know how close it was, what a surreal experience it all would be. In that episode, Buffy speaks with one of her friends who talks about how her mom died who had been sick for a long time. Buffy asked if it was sudden, and the friend replied, "No, and yes, it's always sudden." Having watched my dad, not really waste away, but not able to do what he once was able to, and his frustration with it, made me know that my time with him was limited. But it was sudden. I never knew it would only be for a couple more years.
He's on a hillside in Orange County, CA, overlooking a ravine. It's a nice area, also where quite a bit of our family is. He's just a couple of rows and spaces over from his mom, and in the section across from his dad (Frank Romero also, btw). Obviously, I still miss him. You always hear the stories of when someone says "not a day goes by I don't think of him/her" which at one I thought was kind of difficult to think of someone that's passed everyday, but now I understand.